september 05, 2011

Linda

Friends.

I’ve never had that many. Acquaintances, sure. But friends? Real friends that you can share everything with? That you know are there through it all? I have a hard time opening up to people. It’s not something I feel comfortable doing. I prefer solitude. Always have. Always will. It’s hard to break that pattern when you’ve been alone most of your life. Keeping in touch with people, for instance. I suck at that.

Linda is one of those people who has managed to slip under my radar. It started off as... I dunno. We hung out sometimes. We had fun. But we were never close. I can’t say for sure when that changed. I honestly have no idea. All I know is that, today, I could never be without that friendship. Sometimes we don’t see each other for months, but it doesn’t matter. There are no strings attached. I know she’s there. She’s one the few people I can sit across from in complete and utter silence without feeling that I have to fill that empty void with useless chit chat.

You know how rare that is? To feel that way?

If that’s not friendship, I don’t know what is.

There were so many things I wanted to say this past Saturday, but of course I choked. Instead of the most awesome speech in the history of mankind, I fidgeted with my hands and said something close to yadayadayada happy to be part of your day and then I sat back down and continued to eat my dessert while swearing under my breath.

That was so NOT what I had in mind. Not at all what I wanted to say. Crap.

It doesn’t matter, I thought to myself later that night while dancing my ass off and spilling a drink all over my shoes.

It doesn’t matter.

This is what matters.

9 kommentarer:

Alexandra - Kärlek på tallrik sa...

Thank you for sharing, it's hard feeling that way not knowing if it's common or if you're the only one being strange and not having friends. I work like that too. Sure, I talk to a lot of people, but none of them are close to me. I've never had best friends like other people do, and sometimes, I miss it.

I have someone now though. We live far, far away from each other - different continents and all - but when we meet, it's like no time has passed. I love it <3

Beautiful pictures of a beautiful girl, as always, good job ;)

A Swedish Gal sa...

Thank you so much! For the kind words AND sharing your thoughts. :)

Magda sa...

Vilken underbar klänning hon har på sig, helt fantastisk.

A Swedish Gal sa...

Eller hur!?

Mrs E sa...

Fina, fina Camilla - tack för talet (skrivet?) Jättefina bilder - jag älskar dem! Tack tack tack underbara vän!
Puss

A Swedish Gal sa...

Moooaaah!

Det där var jag som skickade en slängpuss.

Maria joão sa...

I can relate to this. I'm like that, I don't have many friends and there are only two that I feel I can trust and can share everything. And like you, I'm a photographer and really love it. But I worry for my lack of social skills. As much as I like to be by myself, I miss people and I worry that I'll need them but then they won't exist. I wish photography or whatever your passionate about could replace people. But it doesn't

A Swedish Gal sa...

So true. You should email me - I want to see your work!

Nathalie sa...

Jag är övertygad om att du förmedla det du ville till henne då och där, här och nu.