I’ve never had that many. Acquaintances, sure. But friends? Real friends that you can share everything with? That you know are there through it all? I have a hard time opening up to people. It’s not something I feel comfortable doing. I prefer solitude. Always have. Always will. It’s hard to break that pattern when you’ve been alone most of your life. Keeping in touch with people, for instance. I suck at that.
Linda is one of those people who has managed to slip under my radar. It started off as... I dunno. We hung out sometimes. We had fun. But we were never close. I can’t say for sure when that changed. I honestly have no idea. All I know is that, today, I could never be without that friendship. Sometimes we don’t see each other for months, but it doesn’t matter. There are no strings attached. I know she’s there. She’s one the few people I can sit across from in complete and utter silence without feeling that I have to fill that empty void with useless chit chat.
You know how rare that is? To feel that way?
If that’s not friendship, I don’t know what is.
There were so many things I wanted to say this past Saturday, but of course I choked. Instead of the most awesome speech in the history of mankind, I fidgeted with my hands and said something close to yadayadayada happy to be part of your day and then I sat back down and continued to eat my dessert while swearing under my breath.
That was so NOT what I had in mind. Not at all what I wanted to say. Crap.
It doesn’t matter, I thought to myself later that night while dancing my ass off and spilling a drink all over my shoes.
It doesn’t matter.
This is what matters.