juli 11, 2011

Page 89

It didn't feel right. It just didn't feel... right.
I'm standing in front of the egg and dairy shelf at the grocery store, holding one egg carton in each hand. One is free range, the other standard (not that it matters, I know that - free range my butt). Up until now, I have never bothered to check the fine print, I just grab a carton. Preferably the cheapest one. I've told myself that it doesn't really matter anyway. They're just eggs. Until now. Something's changed. I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to focus. I can't stop thinking about those eggs and where they come from. How they ended up in my hand. What I am about to eat.

Before I go any further with this, let me just get one thing straight.

It's not as if I woke up one day and thought: Hey, those hens? I wonder how they're treated.

It's not as if I haven't seen documentaries, read articles, seen the photos. I am aware of the conditions.

I know. I've always known. I've just chosen not to see. Does that make any sense?

So I'm standing there, looking at the cartons. This was maybe two months ago. Eventually I decided to buy one, but I couldn't shake off that unpleasant feeling as I made my way through the meat section. I get to the register. I look down at my cart and see bacon, ground beef, frozen salmon, frozen chicken and sausages and suddenly I get nauseated. I'm 31 years old and I love meat, always have, but all of a sudden it's as if I'm going to throw up right there on the spot.

Fast forward until today.

I'm sitting on a bus reading a book. Normally I can't read on buses, but for some unknown reason I don't feel sick today. The book I'm reading is Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. I have no idea why I bought it. I work part time in a book store and I've seen it on the shelf for some time now. I even put it there. But I can't tell you why I decided to buy it, let alone bring it with me on a four hour bus trip (eight if you count the trip back). I was planning to listen to my iPod the entire time. So. Of all the books I could choose to bring with me, this is what I brought. I think I knew what would happen, long before I opened it and read the first line. I knew the book would be a difficult read and I suspected that I would skip certain parts the way I've switched channels when they show animals being mistreated. See no evil, hear no evil. Lalala. Pass the chicken.

When I reached page 89, I knew I would never eat meat again. I think I knew when I was holding those egg cartons. When I felt sick at the sight of my cart. I looked out the window and saw trees flashing by. There are a lot of trees in this country, I thought to myself. Then I continued to read until there was nothing left. Then I read it again.

19 kommentarer:

Alexandra - Kärlek på tallrik sa...

welcome to the bright side =D We might not have meat but we have a clear conscious ;)

Fanny sa...

So, I'm not sure if you're giving up meat or also eggs, but I wanted to give you a tip about a great place for vegan food: the Post Punk Kitchen (www.theppk.com). There's recipes and most of all, a forum with a lot of knowledge in it. Also, there's a book you can find there that's called "Vegan Brunch", seems like it would fit your blog! Which I love btw.

Tale sa...

Lykke til videre :-)

Frida sa...

Åh vilket underbart inlägg
Jag har själv valt att inte äta kött då jag av någon anledning alltid tycks få dåligt samvete när jag tuggar på en köttbit. Jag har för mycket empati till djur för att äta dem. Nu när jag varit utan det så länge har jag börjat inse att det inte ens smakar särskilt gott. Och åh så mycket annat gott det finns att äta som en gång inte varit ett levande djur, det finns så mycket mer.

Panna L sa...

So now it's like.. go-go power ranger~! To make it short: you're gonna like it :)
I'm vegetarian most of my life. Started with sth about 12 years old, in a family of meat-eaters. So it was quite harsh. I never liked meat. In kindergarten I used to exchange meat for beetroot salad with my bestie. Always wanted to be vegan. Have to be lacto-ovo veggie for some time (health reasons). Whatever peaople say, eating green is so funny so delicious, so.. creative! Great.
I visit dog shelter every saturday. I usually feed dogs with raw meat there. It's a celebration for them - special treat ones a week. Shelters in Poland are not very well-kept places. They long for eating something else than groats. Does keeping meat in hand make me sick? Yeah. Indeed. But in this case it's worth it. Apart from that - keep me away from meat, or else I'll vomit.
So, peace! :) Welcome to the green world, na na na na na <3

Maya sa...

i was thinking of giving up meet and eggs and become vegan. well, right now its difficult for me because my parents (specially my mum wants me to eat meat, eggs, just everything to being healthy) unfortunately i live with them in our house so i cant fight with them at all. however someday if i move out, i will be vegan - for health, for feel better, for values.

Lisen sa...

Så nu ska du gå och bli vegetarian alltså. Jag provade det ett tag. Det gick inte så bra... Men jag läste iofs ingen bok om det. Lycka till! :)

josefin sa...

Tycker att det här var en väldigt vacker text. Och den fick mig att komma ihåg att jag måste läsa Foers bok.

Natalie sa...

Wow, I can totally and completely relate to this. Exactly as you put it, I've always known but I'd always used to just ignore it. Then... I read that book, too. I had read all of Foer's other books and loved them, and, not knowing what that one was about, decided to start reading it too. And, one thing led to another, and I haven't eaten meat in two years.

Anonym sa...

I used to not care either and then I fell terribly ill and I decided to try being vegetarian. I realised the wonderful effects and I try to stick by it but it's so hard when people make fun of me for being so. I really like this post, thank you. I don't think I will eat meat today, but shit, I had eggs for breakfast!

Johanna sa...

Här är en till som gett upp kött. Fast jag äter fisk när jag besöker småsyskon, då de är obotliga köttolister. Det gick lätt att sluta med kött, och jag tycker att det är så gott med grönt och bönor och olika kolhydrater och frukt och allt annat som inte är köttigt.

Fast jag äter ägg, kanske för att inte dras med ett helt rent samvete, det vore ju allt för lätt.

Anonym sa...

waaaa I love your blog, ur pictures are so lovely & I always post them at my tumblr but I'm vegetarian & when you put pics with meat(bacon) I'm like :( I can't use it & now I know that wouldn't happend again.
Welcome to the Veggie life, is awesome, healthier, good for your body & for me the main reason animals can live, be happy & we don't need to eat them. Congrats for ur new change. <3

Sofia sa...

jag håller på att läsa samma bok och kommer snart till sidan 89. funderade länge på att bli vegetarian men bestämde mig för att försöka äta mer vegetariskt och istället tänka efter när jag äter kött.

hoppas du skriver mer om det här, det hade varit intressant att veta hur det går för dig!

aswedishgal sa...

Vilka fina läsare jag har! Tack snälla för era uppmuntrande kommentarer!

Thank you so much for your uplifting comments! It means a lot. I'm giving up both meat, dairy and eggs, but I wouldn't go so far as to call myself vegan. I'm guessing I will be the laughing stock for a while, but who cares. At least I can sit down and eat without that growing feeling of unease in my gut.

Alexandra: Hahaha! Tack! :)
Fanny: Thanks for the tip! That's great!
Tale: Tack snälla!
Frida: Ja, det måste ju finnas mer - eller hur!? Håller med.
Panna: Power Ranger - love it. :) I think what you're doing with those dogs is just... awesome.
Mayavienn: I understand exactly how you feel. Best of luck to you!
Lisen: Är det här Lisen min syster eller en annan Lisen? :) Tack!
Josefin: Läs! Och tack snälla du.
Natalie: That is so cool!
Fluffy: Screw those people. You go and do your thing. :)
Johanna: Ägg är nog det som känns svårast just nu. Men det ska gå. :)
Anonymous: Hahaha! Thanks!
Sofia: Jag lovar att skriva mer här. Det blir en output för allt jag inte kan prata med andra om. Tack - jag kan behöva en tumhållare!

Maria sa...

Oj! Välkommen ;)

zoe sa...

i've been feeling the same recently, about meat and eggs etc.
i've also been tempted to read 'eating animals' but i know it's going to have an affect on me... and like you, i also love meat.
but good on you with this change. i think it's great :)

ida sa...

vet inte riktigt var jag ska börja, men försöker ändå. jag är själv vegan och har läst din blogg sedan början. trots bilder på kött och så ibland så har detta varit en av mina favoritbloggar, just eftersom bilderna är så fina och för att du verkligen ger frukost en rättvis bild (bästa målet på dagen helt klart!). i mitt huvud har jag liksom sett bortom köttet så att säga. nu på senare tid har jag lagt märke till att du har ätit lite mer vegetabiliska alternativ såsom havregrädde och havreyoghurt och som vegan blivit glad för detta (även om du inte gillade havreyoghurten haha). när jag sedan läste den här texten fick jag seriöst rysningar. för den där boken är ju så himla mitt i prick och jag vet inte hur jag ska förklara det men jag blev liksom stolt på något sätt och så himla glad att ännu en person fått upp ögonen för det här problemet. ville bara säga det och att du helt klart kommer att klara det här hur bra som helst. det är jag säker på!

Anonym sa...

ville bara tacka för fin inspiration och tipsa dig om denna bloggen om du inte läser den redan:
Tror du kan få en del tips på vad du kan äta nu istället,
mvh L

aswedishgal sa...

Zoe: Read it when you're ready. :)
Ida: Nu blev jag helt rörd ju. Tack.
L: Tack för tipset!